This is kinda close to home for me, my used-to-be long distance best friend turned boyfriend has cirrhosis/ end stage liver failure when we began talking during Covid. He was diagnosed in the end of 2019, he was living alone in Oregon, his ex wife & daughters were the only people he knew there. After a zillion hospital stays alone and him coding twice he moved in with me.
Taking care of a sick person is so much work, I listened to him do it alone for over two years. I can't imagine how hard it is to grocery shop, and schlep yourself to appointments, force yourself out of bed for exercise. It looks exhausting.
I see the benefits of both situations he used to be able to make a mess, and not clean up after himself. I come home from work 5 days a week and clean up what he's spilled since I left at 7am from drinks, to food, and pop sickles that dribble daily on him, sheets, blankets, my wood and carpet floors. He is oblivious to such messes, however its the first thing I see when I walk inside. He sits home alone like a puppy waiting for me to walk in and sadly also for him, the first thing I want to do when I get home is go on my patio and detox from my day. It hurts his feelings because he spends 85% of his time in bed watching tv & half conscience, but even on weekends I can not lay in bed all day. I feel bad for him, I don't want him to be alone - however the stress of watching someone else get sick, deteriorate and become a shell of themselves isn't easy to watch. I would not mind if he moved in with his mother in another state for the end of his sickness. As for my own wishes for dying I'd love not to be a burden on anyone.